1. Men - the simple man gets married, the rest have hangups and never managed to get around them. Once they do, they get married.
Men, despite what other women magazines say, are NOT simple. Don't be fooled ladies. Unsuspectingly, men do have life's teething problems to contend with and issues that gnaw at their consciousness everyday. It was a surprise to me when Isabella asked, "You mean men deep-dived and analyzed relationships too?" after telling her about a chat I had with Tom. In an attempt to express the reason why I haven't started pursuing any of the girls that I've been out with, Tom in the most succinct yet subtle and rhetorical manner asked, "Could it possibly be that you have hang-ups dude?". He followed up with a story of how he found pictures of his dad's ex-girlfriends and casually mentioned that, "You know, maybe its ok to have hang-ups yet move on in life. The thoughts of whatifs will be in our mind and be part of our makeup but it will slowly quieten down and life goes on."
2 - Most men don't know how to treat a lady. The ones that do are dubbed "Players"
Now this is the most interesting conundrum I've ever heard. Truth be told, I do date women and enjoy their company. But honest to god, i treat them nice, send them home and at the very most give them a goodnight hug. In my mind, everyone needs a hug once in awhile. And for that, some girls say I'm a PLAYER! For goodness sake, I'm a man. I enjoy a woman's company (because I'm heterosexual) and I respect them as they should be respected when I'm with them. Why in the world would I be a player for doing what's expected as a gentleman. Its just crazy. Does that mean women would rather not be treated well? It would be great if somebody can give me an insight to this negative term. But in any case I digress. For the men who are reading this, women are easy to please (well most of them). Things to think about on a date is as follows,
a. If you can, pick them up. They will be more comfortable and will likely feel more at ease around you.
b. Remember that if she's wearing heels, she does not like to walk on uneven ground. To remind yourself on how difficult it is to walk on those damn things, try wearing heels at home and see if you like it. If the answer is yes, you're probably a woman stuck in a man's body. Else, like me, you'll probably be bewildered as to why women subject themselves to this instrument of pain and potential ankle injuries.
c. When you think of a place to dine, (and please think of a place that is cozy and book a reservation. Its not hard. Its only a phone call) decide if you want to do alfresco or in the safe respite of an air-con dining area. Women do not like to be hot and sticky most of the time (that's because they will start looking somewhat unattractive with oil on their face). They also do not appreciate being in a freezer. So, for best effect, make sure you've checked out the place you're going to bring her (but don't tell her that you've been there before so that its an experience that you both can share together, well in her mind at least)
d. Try not to do the movies and dinner thing. Its just too cliched! Even if you have to go for a movie, choose an interesting one and not some unpleasant film. When in doubt, go for the feel good movies (which is why women love romantic comedies, because it makes them feel warm and fuzzy inside)
e. Be a gentleman. Women appreciate you opening doors for them more than you know but sometimes, extra enthusiasm could definitely make you look like a weirdo (if you're lucky, she'll think you're so sweet and then treat you like a good little boy after that i.e. you're niceeeee. Trust me, you don't want nice. Read previous article for why that is so). Depending on where you are dating, pulling out chairs can be unnecessary but sending her home is VERY much mandatory.
f. Ok. I'll stop here because there is too much to cover for dos and donts in a date which would be better served if i wrote it in the next article.
3 - Women thinks its all down to FATE.
They want a relationship (and some might even admit that they want sex - very unlikely scenario though), they want the sort of man that will get them excited. BUT they are willing to put it down to fate and the off chance that he will suddenly notice the girl of his dreams as she walks past him.
I'll tell you a few things that does not make sense in this scenario. One, FATE is BULL. Didn't you watch the Terminator. Sarah Connor has got it down to pat. FATE is what we make. So make it happen. You don't meet people, you don't try to connect and you're aloof. And suddenly you think someone will try their darndest to get your attention? Hitch said it best when he said, "Sometimes women need to get out of their own damn way so that the right guy can be there for her!"
Also, don't you think that if a guy who goes ga-ga for a girl after seeing her for the very first time is a bit of creepy? Like most girls I know, they will just ignore his advances because he's just not cool. Macbeth had it all wrong. To chase or not to chase is the question.
4 - HELP him HELP you
Now lots of times, there is a disconnect between the communication lines of men and women. Its like being at the front lines of a battle (not that I know what that's like) and trying to communicate to your other soldiers by sign language. Only the same signs means different things to 2 people. I can just imagine a massacre waiting to happen.
Men engineer situations in which they can communicate their interest. Unfortunately, sometimes, unlike what UOB's Ladies Credit Card advert says, "The women don't get it", not the men. Case in point, men asks girl for dinner. Women turns him down because she has to go out with her bff. Ok - hold on here. You just turned down fate at play here (since singaporean women likes to incite fate). I say you need to test the goods before you say no. I mean its free anyways. So why not, give him a chance. Your BFF will still be there later on. She's a BFF he first place right. What are BFFs for if they can't understand that you might be interested to find out about this guy. In a man's world, its understood that if your dude blows off drinks, its probably because he wants to date this chick he's been eyeing. So everything's cool.
Ok. Its getting late so shall stop here. Obviously as you can tell, my article is men centric because as you already guessed it, I am one. Apologies to all the women who find any of this article insulting or hurtful to a women's ego (which is supposedly smaller than a man) but I guess sometimes we humans can't handle the truth very well. In any case, I'm just speaking from experiences I've had so obviously my article is purely made up of anecdotal evidence.
In most cases where people have fallen in love with each other, yes I do agree it starts off by a guy noticing you in the hallway/office/bar. After that, guys need to engineer a situation where you will most likely notice them because let's face it, not all guys look like Brad Pitt/Tom Cruise/Brazilian models. So given that he doesn't have his mouth hanging out from his nose, he also needs to part of your little world until you're ready to accept him.
