Relationship Ripples

Relationship Ripples

I've been thinking about relationships lately. More specifically, the relationships I've had with the many different people that I meet; friends, family, colleagues or that special someone. Like it or not, we have different guises and different personalities to different people. The filial son, the loving boyfriend, the confident man, the morally upright human being, the sociable guy....It does get confusing. Is it right to live life as a chameleon or is it better to be more upfront about yourself? Is there a best self that should be shown to everyone or should you be more upfront about who you really are?

"The world is a stage and all its people, actors" (Shakespeare) rings true in my head. The "Bard" certainly knows what he's talking about. Somedays, I feel like an actor. At work, ACT confident and pretty soon everyone will think that you are. At parties, ACT flirty and everyone thinks that you're fun to have around (don't quote me on this though, I might be off by a longshot). In sports, ACT like one of the lads and pretty soon you are. Does it mean that I am confident, flirty, sporty? Well I guess to my acquaintances, I would be.

Talking about acquaintances, I've come to realise that I put people that I know in strict categories. "Acquaintances" are those who I will never depend on and will never put my life on the line for whereas "Friends" are its opposites. I do wonder whether that's a healthy thing to do. It dawned upon me one day that it is a very exclusive way of managing people. How do those who walk among us treat everyone they know, even if they've met that person for one night, as a friend? I am no friend to you just coz I spent one fucking night talking to you. Will you grieve with sorrow if I died? I doubt so. Conclusively, I take offense at anyone who consider themself a friend of mine unless agreed upon by me. In the real world of course, I let it slide. But in the deep recesses of my mind, I am disgusted by their mention of me as their friend. So much for "one love" huh? Maybe one day I'll reach Bono's state of enlightenment and consider it.

Being with someone special does not make it any easier in helping me trying to figure myself out I think. She seems to think that relationships are meant to be help people learn about themselves better, to improve themselves. I take that viewpoint with a lot of cynicism. How can a relationship help figure yourself out when you somehow get caught up trying to be the man that she wants you to be? You find yourself hoping that you have achieved the qualities of the MAN that your partner desires and in the process forget about who you really are. (Unless of course the MAN your partner desires is the way you are...kinda like how my future sister-in-law loves my brother, with his weird interests. He is indeed a lucky man and I am very envious that he has found a woman who loves him for him) Personally, I've decided that I will be who I am (but of course to make the life a little easier, I will comprimise)